Friday 2 May 2014

Vineet and his great talent for Name-Twisting


This one about my friend, Vineet Panicker.


He has an absolutely whacky sense of humour. He also has a great talent for giving names to our colleagues. Here are few samples –

Sanatan Desai - who is a fitness freak and the gym-regular has been named ‘Sina-taan’ Desai
Jinu Thangappan – who always has a tired look – has been named Jinu ‘Thakaan-pan’
Madhu Shanmughan – who looks a bit like a bandit – has been named – Madhu ‘Shana-Murugan’. 
Neil Thurlow – who walks a bit slowly – has been named – Neil ‘Thahar-Lo’
We had a colleague who was of Nigerian origin, named Ade Baloji........he became Aditya Balaji !

He hasn’t spared even his wife Ansa Sabastian – When Vineet is very happy with something she has done – he calls her Ansa ‘Shabaash’tian.

My son Ammar used to go for Han Mudo classes (type of Karate). Vineet once asked him –‘Beta, Han Mudo Sajana ka class ho gaya’ !!

In IPL when the young Mumbai Indian bowler Bumrah took 3 wickets with his strange action – Vineet sent me an SMS – ‘Ye Bumrah sabko Gumraah गुमराह kar raha hai’.
When the Sri Lankan bowler Rangana Herath once took 4 wkts for 6 runs he said - 'Rangana ne mujhe Hairat हैरत main daal diya.'
When Laxmi Ratan Shukla played an atrocious shot to get out Vineet declared - lets change his name to Laxmi 'Rotten' Shukla.......
He was quite impressed with a Sardarjee he met, and hence declared 'Sardar lekin Asardar' सरदार लेकिन असरदार !!

There was person called Sale El Ghamedi who was a previous tenant of the house Vineet was living in Norwich. He would get letters addressed to this guy on his address. One day Vineet said out of frustration - 'Sale el ghamandi ka letter phir se aa gaya'!!!

Before the 'do or die' game for England against Uruguay in the 2014 football World Cup , Vineet said -
Aaj Rooney (Wayne Rooney) ko roohani taaqat ki zaroorat hai !!!

Vineet ki team main ek larka tha jo 's' ko 'Sh' bolta tha , usko ek din meeting main Vineet bola (very seriously) - ye aadat theek karo nahin to 'password' related problems aayega tumko' he asked 'wo kaise, Vineet Sher'......Vineet replied - tum ja ke bologe 'Khul ja shim shim'....to certainly you will not get access' 😃

He had a former boss in London who is a British Pakistani. His last name is Hafiz. He is keen cricketer. He had formed a team comprising of some other people from his family. He named the team 'Hafiz Eleven'. He challenged Vineet to form a team with his other colleagues and have a match with Hafiz Eleven. He asked Vineet what is he planning to call his team, Vineet replied 'Khuda Hafiz Eleven' !!!!!

He got a taste of his own medicine when a British colleague sent him a mail which went like this 'Dear Mr. Pan-Kicker.....'. Once he was also a asked by his British boss, 'Vineet I hope in tough situations you won't panic.....as your name suggests'.................

After Arun Jaitley's shock defeat in the 2014 elections, Vineet said he should try his hand at hollywood by changing his name to 'Aaron Jet Lee'

He told his wife Ansa -
'Ansa, agar tum hum sab ke liye chai banaogi to Farah Bhabhi se aashirvaad milega - 
'Chai-ush-maan Bhavo !!'

We were discussing some issues we were having with this builder Persimmon Homes with Vineet. To this he said - Unse kah do....

Persimmon Mere, sun mera kehna,
Jahan nahin chaina, wahan nahin rehna.......-:)

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